Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Smile!
On His one month birthday He showed us how well He can smile.
There is nothing more wonderful (yet) than seeing your son's first smile.
I must say, it is better than any moment in any game I have ever played.

(You may be asking yourself, "Why is this blogger capitalizing the 'He' and 'His' 's"?
Tha is simply because i am substituting them for His name. Sorry, but no direct personal stuff on here. Thanks.)
groan at 3:19 PM linkie

comment

The New Dad: a new beginning

I used to game a lot.
Online massively multiplayer games like Dark Age of Camelot, Everquest, Star Wars: Galaxies.
Standard Multiplayer games like Battlefield 1942, Unreal Tournament, Savage.

On February 28th, my life changed. For the better.
My son was born a healthy 8 Lbs 4 Oz. He has been the focus of my life since then and will be for the rest of my life.
When people tell you about having babies, no one tells you everything. If you ask someone who is about to have a baby and they say it won't alter their daily life much, tell them to their face "You're lying".
I don't game very much any more.

When my wife and I were preparing for the arrival of our baby, we thought we had everything ready. We had all the necessary furniture; the crib, change table, bassinet, stroller, bottles, clothes, diapers, blankets...etc. We attended the pre-natal classes that are supplied by the city to help prospective parents to prepare for labor and tell you a little bit about what happens afterwards.

They don't tell you enough. Neither do the rest of your friends and family that tell you how wonderful it is when you get your baby home. Sure they tell you that it'll be hard for the first few weeks. "Hard"...That is the understatement of the year. Don't get me wrong. It is wonderful! He is the most incredible little person! It is just that we were far from prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that is having your baby at home.

When you get home with your new baby, be prepared to set aside everything that you knew of your previous life. I'm not kidding. Especially if you are the mommy. Mommy will have very little time to herself outside of the feeding every 2-3 hours, changing diapers every 1-3 hours (sometimes one right after the other before you get him off the change table!), if you are pumping; doing that every 3-4 hours, laundry, bathing, napping, cleaning bottles and nipples. It is an endless cycle that does not end just because it is dark.

Be prepared for lots of lack of sleep (if that makes any sense). With that schedule above, days will blur into each other. When your advisers, and there will be an endless stream of these, tell you to "sleep when the baby sleeps", I highly recommend it, if you think you can do it. It can be tricky. During the day, after 48 hours of not bathing and not sleeping more than 8 hours total, trying to decide to nap or bathe can be one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in days. No, you can't sleep in the tub. What if baby needs you? What if baby starts to ...cry.

That is another thing the world doesn't prepare youenough for. The crying. The heartbreaking crying that will crack you up inside and cause you to break down into a river of tears, will frustrate you beyond belief. What do you do for a baby that just fed, was changed, and for the last 20 minutes has been crying so frantically, his face is beet red (and I really mean the color of a beet), seems to stop breathing between cries, is wailing so loud, your ears begin to ring, and you can do nothing to ease him. Some people will tell you to walk him around, some will tell you to rock him or talk to him. You will find during these episodes, that you can hear yourself talk, so how do you expect him to hear you?
All you can do is take one day at a time, one crying episode at a time.

I want to clarify that I am not a bitter new Dad. I love my son and my wife, but this is just a warning to upcoming parents that it is not as easy as some people will lead you to believe and it is harder than anything you will hear. Lots has changed in the first month of having our baby at home, for the better!

Be patient, both with your spouse (if there is one) and with your new baby. Do not give into any form of rage. If you feel frustration taking over, hand the baby to someone else (family or spouse of course) or put the baby down in the crib, close the door to the room and walk away for a few minutes. This is the best advise I can give for this situation. You may think you are a calm person now and say to me , "That would never happen". You don't know this until you are in the situation. You don't want a shaken baby.

I'll be back...


groan at 1:42 PM linkie

comment